Excuse me. Ahem. This is so awkward. You have lipstick on your teeth!
You don’t? Well, you should. Trust me, you want lipstick on your teeth.
So as my friend Julie would say, get some!
What the hell am I talking about? Your next must-read. An anthology of stories from the funniest, most poignant, incredible writers around, called “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.” (Yeah, somehow they included me. On page 215.)
My story is called “Dropping the Mask.” It’s about what happened when I stopped having being “fine” all the time and started speaking my mind. Shockingly, there have been some land mines.
Compiled and edited by Leslie Marinelli of The Bearded Iris and In the Powder Room, this book is for all of you ladies who’ve ever fretted over the unequal size of your breasts, the disgusting habits of your husbands, compared your lady bits to cruciferous vegetables, or bonded with your girlfriends over how little you paid for your blouse.
This book should probably come with a black box warning instructing you not to eat or drink while reading it. The dangers of choking are real. You’ve been warned.
So please get yourself over to Amazon and buy a copy (or ten!) of this anthology. You won’t regret it.
Check out this amazing group of authors:
So excited to be a part of this project with you.
And you need NO MASK, lady.
Glad you dropped it so the rest of us can feel comfortable doing the same.
(Plus, you look spectacular in red lipstick.)
Work it, girl.
Aww, thank you, Julie!
I’m still snorting and trying to catch my breath after re-reading your piece and coming across the phrase “Julie and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Crotch.”
How do you end up in a group shower with your boyfriendatthetime’s mother?!?
We were on a week-long camping trip and the only showers were in a single room with multiple shower heads…
Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it.
I absolutely loved your essay! Your picture is pretty smoking hot, too.
Thank you, Poppy! It’s amazing what some makeup (ahem, more than I’ve worn in a year) will do.
That literally is as high as my eyebrows will go with the Botox. Which makes me think of your essay. I want to know more about marital math and how it applies to drunken Botox ….
I ordered it! It’s in the mail.
Woot! Thank you, Jennie!
My copy arrived in the mail over the weekend and I can’t wait to start reading! ps LOVE YOUR PIC!!! you are gorgeous!
Yay! Thank you, Erin! I hope you love it. If you have time to review it on Amazon when you’re done, that would be amazing!
It sounds hysterical – a no food or drink warning is always a good sign.
Trust me, it’s necessary for this one. I was reading it on my iPad and almost sprayed beer all over the screen.
What are friends for if not to let others learn from our mistakes?
I love your picture!
And I know I’ll love your piece. Once I get the book.
Congratulations!
Thank you, Alison! Does Amazon ship to you? If not, there’s a Kindle version!
Angie – it is a privilege to be a co-author with you in this book! You are a breath of fresh air and I’m so glad you’re not “fine” anymore. I’ll take the real you over the “fine” you ANY DAY. Also, I don’t have a china pattern, but I do have the flagpole ready and waiting if you ever need a new place to fly your freak flag. Big love, Leslie.
…doh! I “submitted” too soon. (Story of my life.) Meant to say – which was one of my favorite lines from your story! LOVED THAT PART!!
Oh, Leslie. You never fail to make me want to snort/laugh and cry at the same time. Thank YOU for including me in your anthology! I enjoyed working with you so much, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your hands-on editing.
Next time I’m in Atlanta I’ll bring my freak flag over and we’ll find a place to stick it.
Snort!
OK the warning about no food or drink when reading is very much appreciated. I can’t tell you how this has burned me in the past.
Can’t wait to get my copy!
Such a great group of authors!! Congrats!