The drive home from preschool is not that long. And yet, it’s quite long enough. Today, I was hoping the kids would tell me what they learned about recycling at school, but instead….
“Mommy, what if your head just exploded?” I look in the rear view mirror to see Anne gleefully pantomiming an exploding head.
“Well, it would make a big mess, and since I wouldn’t be around anymore, you and Grant would have to clean it up. So… you’d better hope that my head doesn’t explode.”
“But wouldn’t it be funny if your head exploded?” Both kids cackle madly, and another glance in the mirror shows Anne with her cheeks puffed out, smacking her hands against her face so the air explodes out of her mouth in a whoosh.
All I can think of is John Belushi in Animal House, in that scene in the cafeteria. You know, when he stuffed his mouth and said, “What am I? What am I?” Then bam! slammed his hands into his cheeks so that mashed potatoes exploded onto the uptight sorority chick across the table as he yelled, “I’m a zit!”
So even though I don’t want to encourage joking about Mommy’s head exploding, my daughter is doing a perfect John Belushi impression without even realizing it, and I can’t help but giggle.
And it only feeds the fire.
“It would be so funny, Mommy!” Grant chimes in. “If your head just, exploded, like, boom!”
“You wouldn’t think it was funny if it happened while I was driving you two around,” I say. “Then there’d be a mess and you’d be stuck in traffic in a van with the child locks on.” I emphatically push the child lock button. They loathe child locks.
They ponder. For about three seconds.
Then, “Mommy?”
“Yes, Anne?”
“Do you know what my favorite thing is?”
Pink? Unicorns? Candy? Twirling? Antagonizing her brother? Dancing to Vanilla Ice? Her stuffed pink elephant with the purple ears? “Um, not today. What?”
“God. God is the best thing ever.”
“Well, yes. Yes, he is.”
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Anne?”
“Do you know what ‘chimney’ starts with? The letter R!” Both kids break into uncontrollable giggles.
“Hate to break it to you, kiddo, but there’s no letter R in the whole word.”
“Mommy?”
“Yes, Grant?”
“Wanna hear a joke?”
“Sure.”
“Red, blue….underpants!!!!”
I can’t hear myself think for all the laughing. Which is a good thing, because I’m pretty sure I didn’t get it.
**Image source: http://ow.ly/6VqEF
Lmao! They must have taken the same silly pill at school today as Asher. I mean he went on and onnnnnn cracking himself up by saying things that meant nothing! After a while it got REALLY annoying…..however as I sit here thinking about it, I smile
Well, I finally heard what they absorbed about recycling. Grant just said, “Did you know instead of throwing that away, you can make it into an iPod?”
Wow.
LOL! Love kid humor! I never get it either, usually anyways.
Underpants!
Always the perfect punchline.
My favorite part of the day is the 30 minute commute to and from school with my kids. I never know what’s going to come out of their mouths. Kids are great. When they’re not annoying me half to death….
Great post! I’ve done several posts on car rides; it’s then she. The big questions come up, like where do we go when we die and what is the difference between boys and girls. But wish now I had recorded those less importantc moments and more of the silly ones as they are just as precious! Well written, happy to follow. Found you via the write on edge hop.