Angie Kinghorn

I miss the friend you used to be

Mama Kat’s writer’s workshop prompt: 
I miss the friend you used to be (The Myth of You and Me).  This was for last week’s workshop, but better late than never, right?


Dear Sleep,
I am not satisfied with the current state of our relationship.  That is, if you can even call it a relationship at this point.  Both parties in a relationship are supposed to give, right?  I’ve given you sampler platters of sleeping pills and heart shaped boxes full of plump, juicy benzodiazepines.  I’ve held off the Red Bull after 8 pm.  I’ve meditated, self-hypnotized, prayed, plugged my ears and masked my eyes.  
And in return, you flit by my bed for an hour at a time, if at all, leaving me a stark raving red-eyed mess.  Then at the point of no return, when it seems you’ll never come back, you deign to stay a night, just long enough to give me a taste of what I’m missing.  Well, one night stands may be sufficient for you, but I crave more.  I need more.  And yes, I am making this all about me.  Because I am irrational and incapable of making a logical argument, thanks to you.
I need you to be there for me when I clamber into bed, and lately, I can’t find you when I toss and turn.  My hands close on empty sheets (or my husband’s face, which he just LOVES, btw), and I want to cry for missing you.  
Instead of being there, instead of smothering me into blissful oblivion, you leave the room at 1:00 a.m., tuning my brain to your favorite station on the way out.  News flash: Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, while fabulous, are not adequate replacements.  California Gurls and Alejandro, while catchy, are not soothing.  If you must leave music on, how about some of that stuff they play at the spa?  
I miss the friend you used to be.  My world isn’t right without you in it.  What do you want, dammit?  A new pillow?  A new pharmacist?  Aromatherapy?  Name it, and it’s yours.  Yes, this started out as an indignant letter, but really, I’ll do anything.  Whatever you want.  Just come back.  
This is how much I need you.  I can’t think of anyone to quote other than Meredith Grey.  “Pick me.  Choose me.  Love me.”  
Love,
Me

Comments

  1. This is great. If it makes you feel any better sleep isn't cheating on you with me. I'd pay him to slip into my bed on a regular basis!

    Stopping by from SITS.

  3. Haha!!! Great post!! I saw this prompt last week and thought about what I'd write. I never thought to make it somewhat humorous! I was gonna get all heavy into a drifting relationship and didn't want to be such a downer! Hope you can get some good sleep soon!!

  4. Love the Grey's Anatomy reference. I've been having my own battles with sleep. I just keep waking up about a dozen times a night. Go back to sleep. But, the sleep is never very good. Dysfunctional relationships suck, especially when it involves sleep.

  5. Thanks, gals. I did sleep last night, but still feel like I could use another week's worth!

    @Heather, that's where I was originally going with this post, too, and why I didn't post it last week. Definite downer! But sometime between 3 and 5 am, this popped into my head.

    Note to Muse: please visit only in daylight hours or early evening. Thank you.

  6. I spotted you on SITS today and decided to swing by. What a great post for Mama Kat's.

    Me and sleep have been having problems lately too. So far all that has helped me has been more exercise, and I actually feel asleep on the couch last night while watching tv, which is a small miracle.

  8. A great take on that prompt. LOve it! I also have a difficult relationship with sleep. Thank god my mother shares her lorazapam with me.

  9. serious lack of sleep is nothing to joke about, so i want to say i'm really sorry and that's just terrible.

    on a writer's side, i love that you made sleep your friend for the prompt!

  10. I wish I couldn't relate, but oh how I do. It just doesn't seem fair. Am I jealous of other's fancy cars, nice homes and big diamonds? No…I just want to be able to crawl in the bed like they do and sleep through the night. That is what makes me green with envy.

  11. Hmm, coincidence that so many of you have sleep problems as well? Methinks not. Perhaps sleep deprivation is the driving force behind creative genius. Yup, that's definitely what's going on here.

    Should do a poll on how many bloggers/writers have migraines. Supposedly, artists and writer types are more riddled with them than everyone else. Maybe that's why Van Gogh cut off his ear?

    Damn, I really need sleep.

  12. I can totally relate, Angie. My son wakes up 6 nights out of 7 for milk, and once he gets me up, I'm pretty much up. It's an awful feeling not to be able to sleep a full night or regularly. Hugs to you :)

  13. I have had a hard time sleeping too and have found relief in melatonin. Thank you Lord for melatonin! It is harder to wake up but I get to REM now.

    Stopping by from SITS.

  14. Angie, you are quite a writer, even if you are sleep-deprived! you left this amazing phrase on my blog today “It is a shame that the freedom to do anything has turned into pressure to do everything”. great turn of phrase! thanks for stopping by SITStah!

  15. @Natalie, that's not fun at all. Hope it stops soon. How old is your son?

    @Amanda, I have tried melatonin, but it doesn't cut it for me. I'm so glad it works for you, though! And I really enjoyed looking through your blog this morning.

    @Elizabeth, thank you for the compliment! And has anybody ever told you that your work looks kind of like Tarkay? (Especially your profile pic painting). Gorgeous.

  17. Such a creative post! Love the letter to Sleep. I'm starting the third year in a cycle of sleep-deprivation, thanks to AN INSANELY ACTIVE son who REFUSES TO REST FOR A MINUTE. And whether it's insomnia or being woken up, it sucks all the same. In fact, my entire personality has shifted. I miss REM sleep. I miss dreams. Good luck to us both!

  18. Sleep is currently calling my name like a lover whose novelty has worn off. Yet I know that when I give in, I will sink into its seductive embrace without hesitation.

    I would gladly share it with you!