My son thinks he’s a triceratops.
Usually, this is fine and kind of cute. He romps around wearing an adorable dino tail, courtesy of Mick&Mack, growls a lot, and occasionally stalks his sister around the room until she ends up standing on a chair, shrieking.
But this morning, when the fierce dino charged me in the kitchen, I felt teeth graze my arm. No, no, no! We solved the biting problem two and a half years ago. We are NOT going there again.
So what did my Brilliant Mommy Self say? “Grant, don’t do that. We don’t bite people, and besides, it’s silly. Triceratops don’t eat people.”
He looked at me, obviously perplexed. “What triceratops eat, Mommy?”
At this point I was wishing I remembered more from middle school science about the Jurassic era. I have a knack for remembering the irrelevant. I can rattle off the elements of adverse possession, tell you the year in which Rutherford B. Hayes was elected, and recite, verbatim, a poem I learned in second grade called “One Bright Day in the Middle of the Night.” However, I cannot remember whether the triceratops was an herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore. For parenting purposes, it seemed that herbivore was the logical choice as it posed the least potential harm to others, so I told Grant, “Honey, they eat plants and trees and leaves.”
Cut to this afternoon in the back yard. It was a rare moment of suburban idyllic-ness. I was happily chatting with my neighbor over the fence while our kids played in their respective yards. Our dog was patrolling the perimeter, stopping occasionally to dig furiously in the dirt. Birdsong filled the air, mixing with the children’s giggles to create a blissful symphony.
Obviously, something bad was about to happen.
Sure enough, I looked towards the twins, and there was Grant, my little triceratops, methodically stripping leaves off an ironwood tree and chomping away. Because basically, that’s exactly what Mommy told him to do.
Three years of twins have made me much faster than I used to be, and I managed to get the leaves out of his mouth before they were ingested. Thankfully, we avoided another call to poison control.
I’ve learned my lesson. Next time he asks, I’ll tell him that triceratops eat asparagus, zucchini, Happy Meals, and milkshakes.
haha great idea…sometimes i wish for twins in order to not have to go through pregnancy and delivery twice…but so many people tell me that raisng twins is not an easy task and not for the weak hearted! =)
Persis
oh wow that is too funny! been looking around your blog and I love it! You have a great talent! Can't wait to hear more from you and get to know you. i'm following you now:)
Thanks for reading, y'all! Persis, the twins thing is definitely not a cakewalk. You can read about it in my next post.
Jennie, so glad you found the blog! Thanks for the kind words.